Dr Joseph Mancusi: Choose health, life and love

“Why are you always so happy?” she asked me. “You always see the bright side of things.”

She continued. “I can’t stand people who are always happy. They seem so phony.”

I asked her, “Are you a pessimist?”

“No,” she said, “I am a “posimist.” I am positive that no matter how things are going, they will get worse.”

I had to admit that was funny. Sad, but funny.

If you know a pessimist, you know someone who will see misery in every opportunity. If you stay around him long enough, he will drag you down. He can make himself and you sick.

You know the type of person I am talking about. If it hasn’t rained he will talk about how the crops will dry up. “The farmers will all lose money.” If it rains he will complain that the fields will be filled with mud, the crops will rot before they can be harvested. “The farmers will all lose money.” Pessimists will work hard to prove themselves right.

My experience as a therapist and much research show that bad things do happen to pessimists. They are more likely to use drugs or alcohol.

Pessimists are more likely to have heart attacks, more likely to die from heart attacks, and less likely to survive heart surgery. Even healthy pessimists are more likely to die than equally healthy optimists. A study was done of healthy people over fifty years old. They were given a personality test. Those who scored as pessimistic, hostile and angry were more likely to die in the next five years. Equally healthy elderly people were asked about their health. The group that answered “not good” died soonest.

If you are happy and optimistic, you make a better employee, friend, lover and parent. Optimists make better decisions and encourage others. They lift moods up and are fun to be around. Pessimists drag others down. They destroy team morale on the job, are more often out sick and do not work well with others. News broadcasts do not help. Bad news is reported more often than good news.

What can you do if you are a pessimist? Look at reality. We are a healthier, more educated nation than twenty years ago. The worst predictions rarely come true. Look at how you were raised. Pessimists often were abused as children or had a parent who punished excessively or called children names like “stupid”, “dumb”, or “ugly”. Pessimists see the bad side of things and work to make it happen so they will be right.

Optimists at church, work or school influence everyone in a positive manner.

We know that if you are exposed to constant negativity by others, your immune system will suffer. So when a negative, pessimistic, angry person comes into the room, I look for the nearest exit. You should, too. If you don’t, you may get more than a headache.

Dr. Mancusi is an inspirational speaker and psychologist. drmancusi@yahoo.com www.mancusi.net ©2009

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www.stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality

Action Items

1. Stay away from pessimists. They will drag you down.

2. Take action. The worst outcome won’t happen.

3. Look at reality, not your fears.

4. Teach your children to look at the positive side. Even failure can teach lessons.

Dr. Mancusi is an inspirational speaker and psychologist. drmancusi@yahoo.com www.mancusi.net ©2009