Why did Paw-Paw die? Created by sakerbcomancusi on 12/14/2010 6:32:10 PM Dr Joseph L. Mancusi: Choose health, life and love
“Granny, why did Paw-Paw die?” The sweet 11-year-old girl looked into her grandmother’s eyes with trust and sorrow.
Granny answered, “God needed another angel to watch over us in Heaven. So he took Paw-Paw home.”
“But, Granny, why was God so mean? Couldn’t he just make another angel without taking Paw-Paw?” she cried.
“Well, honey that is the way God wanted it; we don’t know why. It is a mystery. We can’t question God. We never know when our time is up.” Granny said.
Please!! Stop lying to children. Please stop blaming God. Paw-Paw died at 58 because he smoked. He never listened to the doctors, his friends, or the Surgeon General. Now, Granny makes things worse by blaming God. How can she blame God? God didn’t want him to get lung cancer and have it spread to his brain. God gave him a wonderful healthy body and Paw-Paw spent his money and his body on cigarettes. His choices killed him.
When people begged him to stop, he said, “It doesn’t matter; you die when your time is up.”
Granny, tell the little girl the truth. If you smoke you will lose 12 – 18 years of your life. You chose to join the 390,000 people in the USA who die early because of smoking related cancers of the lung, mouth, stomach and breast. You choose heart disease and lung disease. You choose to kill those around you since 35,000 non-smokers die each year because of second hand smoke.
Should Granny tell her that because Paw-Paw smoked he spent $5.00 a day, $1,800 a year on cigarettes? That is the real reason he couldn’t afford to take her to Disney World. Should Granny tell the little girl that her mother has asthma because Paw-Paw and Granny smoked while Granny was pregnant? Should Granny tell her that Granny won’t be at her wedding either because she has diabetes, doesn’t take her medicine, eats the wrong foods, doesn’t exercise and won’t keep appointments with her doctor?
You make the choice. But for goodness sake, don’t blame God. If you do, then she will believe it when her friends offer her cigarettes, drugs or alcohol and tell her: “Oh, it can’t hurt you; you never know when you time is up.”
Perhaps it is best to tell her the truth. Paw-Paw died because he smoked. God doesn’t need any more things blamed on him. I know. My mother smoked. My mother wasn’t there to see her grandchildren get married. My mother’s body was riddled with cancer. Her hair was gone. Her lung cancer spread to the brain. She suffered horribly. No one was more generous or more loving than my mother. She scrubbed toilets and floors as a maid to put food on the table for five children. We still miss her. She was our angel on earth. We need more angels like her on earth. I think God is willing to wait for people like my mother and Paw-Paw to live out normal, healthy lives.
Tell her the truth. Paw – Paw died at 58 and not 80 or 90 because he smoked. Tell her that Paw - Paw doesn’t want her to start. Tell her that he tried to stop smoking. Tell her that smoking is very addictive. Just don’t tell her God wanted another angel. Choose to tell her the truth. It may hurt, but the truth heals. Make the healthy choices now . . . Choose health, choose life, choose love. See you next week.
www.cancer.org for tips on living with and preventing cancer.
www.lungusa.org for healthy advice on your lungs.
Action Items:
- Avoid answering children who ask about death by always invoking God as the cause. It leads to their fearing and getting angry at God.
- Use family sickness, death and accidents as gentle ways to teach children good life choices.
- Keep nagging at smokers at work and home, increasing taxes on tobacco, and educating students. It does decrease smoking and deaths.
- Refuse to let anyone smoke around you or your children. It is too dangerous.
Dr. Mancusi is an inspirational speaker and psychologist. drmancusi@yahoo.com www.mancusi.net ©2009
